Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Camping and dirt...a report of failures and successes.

We're back from our new yearly family tradition of opal mining.  This is where we get away from electrical connectivity of any kind and proceed to char food over a campfire and roll around in large mounds of dirt. 

Success:  The broken tent pole stayed together through high winds and rain by the sheer force of will and nothing else.  We did not have to sleep in our fabulous and dirty mini-van.

Fail:  I forgot every single day to take my multivitamins which keep my absent-minded head clear.  That means that we grilled meats on doohickeys and took potty trips to the thing-a-ma-bob.

Success:  A variety basket of deep fried food at the Model T cafe in a Winnemucca casino.  Deep fried mushroom and deep fried cheese, both dipped in ranch, in the same mouthful?  Heavenly!

Fail:  Not being able to poop in the thing-a-ma-bob in a timely way.  This is because I'm a bit dehydrated and the seat in the thing-a-ma-bob is set a foot higher than a normal toilet and you just can't get any leverage.  The basket of deep fried heaven couldn't have helped either.

Success:  Not buying the cheap pair of Miley Cyrus brand zebra skin print canvas shoes and instead finding a normal blue pair of canvas shoes at the Walmart hidden in a corner.  All my other shoes had open toes, even the canvas shoes I already owned, and that's not proper when you are going to be trekking up and down hills of mine tailings.

Fail:  Realizing that I was expecting a period about 100 miles past any sort of retail establishment that would sell me any hygiene product.  Why in the world would I remember to pack my menstrual cup?  You don't use that to dig for opals.

Success:  Discovering that my tubal ligation is still effective at the campground the day we are to leave.

Fail:  Cutting the edge off one of my bath towels because I was not about to put a layer of Scooby Doo print napkins or industrial thing-a-ma-bob toilet paper in my underpants.  Scooby Doo doesn't deserve that.

Success:  Despite it raining the night before, mining day starts off sunny and the weather cool.  It's hard to dig for opals if it's overcast.

Fail:  Leaving the mine too early in the afternoon, not having had as much luck as we hoped, because it's not only overcast but there was all kinds of thunder. Call me kooky, but I dislike being out in a lightning storm in the middle of an area with no trees.

Success:  Our tent is not leaky.

Fail:  Not getting in as much swimming in the green and fishy warm springs as we had hoped because of the storms.

Success:  No one got scarred by looking at my pasty white thighs.

Fail:  My 16 year old son spent 30-40 minutes in the thing-a-ma-bob doing lord knows what.  Luckily no one else appeared to need to use the thing-a-ma-bob.

Success:  My husband and I took a shower in the fishy warm spring water in the dark together and managed to get clean in the process.

Fail:  Sharing a tent with the family makes the shower the only romantic venue possible.  Even then you can't because other campers look at you all suspect.

Success:  Super large campfire breakfasts.

Fail:  Leftover campfire food stinking up the cooler.  The bottled water tastes like sausage.

Success:  My 11 year old son Alec finding a champion opal with lots of really nice color play.

Fail:  I found some sparkly mud and my oldest son found a mummified snake.

Success:  There were enough digging tools to go around!

Fail:  I bent my hammer. 

Success:  Not leaking in that embarrassing female way on the long drive back to Winnemucca where I found menstrual cups on sale at the Raley's.  When I asked the menopausal checker to direct me to a bathroom she looked at me like my biological functions should not be part of her job.

Fail:  Finding a suspect liquid brown substance all up my arm in the Raley's restroom after throwing away my trash.  I was tempted to smell it to verify what it was and I resisted.  I knew what it was and sniffing it would only have served to cause dry heaves.  I can still smell the antibacterial handsoap I scrubbed down with.  Somebody's biological functions and the cleaning up of said functions SHOULD be someone's job at the Raley's.

Success:  Making it home without a sunburn and a minimal amount of bugbites.

Fail:  Making it home and learning that my neighbor's other kitten, which we have named Beulah, has also decided to move in.


Ahhh...good family fun.

1 comment:

  1. OHMYGOODGOD if my husband wasn't asleep next to me I would be laughing so loud! As it is I'm shaking the bed from giggling and holding it in.

    I *heart* you so much! I want to go dig for opals! It's my sister's birthstone :)

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