Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Thought I'd change things up a bit and write a post in my bathroom.  I have a laptop now.  I can whisk my internets from room to room whenever I like.  That means that when two of my three kids are home from school early because the teachers drink liquor do some teacher training type stuff until three, I can manage some privacy while I type.

...And look at all my bottles of lotion.  I have a bottle of five year old baby lotion.  I cannot throw it away.  That would be wasteful.  Yet, I don't use it.  What in the world do you do with a bottle of lotion you originally bought for a child who is now in kindergarten?  I don't think I'll type the suggestion that was my first thought.

Excuse me, Anthony Michael Hall just told me to hit the switch on the fan.  A little later we're going to put on some Oingo Boingo and huff Aqua Net.

I remember my mom taking sanity breaks in her bathroom.  Despite being a die hard fan of Aqua Net herself it was a mystery why she spent so long in there at the time.  We assumed she had healthy digestion.  She said she read.  This was verified by the square of toilet paper that she used as a bookmark.  Now I know that it was one of the few rooms with a logical lock on the door with a supply of water and a chair.  No one wants to interrupt your constitutional and Mommie Dearest or The Thorn Birds are dicey reads.  We began to call her "ring around the bum".

I wonder what quirks habits of mine my kids will share on the internets? 

My kids must have names for me too.  Any part of my eccentric nature is up for grabs in my family.  That picture of me in the boobs ad on the sidebar alone is worth at least three good monikers.  They already tease me for my attraction to Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs, or any other time a shirtless man appears on the TV, even if that shirtless man is better endowed than I am.  They blame me for every fart heard or smelled  in this house.  My growing a manly beard is good for hours of grunting noises from the peanut gallery.

You know, my mom never cared that we made fun of her toilet seat impressions.  Best seat in the house she'd say.

I won't mind if the kids make fun of mine either.  It's really very sweet, my family and the way it jokes.  However, I'm going to get up now because my rear end is sore and all the lotion is accounted for.  How did my mom manage to perch for so long? 

Besides, Anthony Michael Hall wants to go to the mall now and buy me a leotard and some leg warmers.  If he's shirtless I'm up for it.


  1. Aqua Net is the best eh? I love that stuff. It will hold your hair in place thru a hurricane. Believe me I tested it during Charlie, before I moved away from FL. It is a hair spray that the morticians use lol. Its like super glue for hair!

  2. My mom hoards aqua net. She has very precise hair.

    We once asked her what we were going to do, us kids, when she loses control of her faculties and we couldn't do her hair as she liked. My sister answered for her. She said, "Oh, we'll just drug her and she won't care!"

    Then she stuck her tongue out at us.


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