Monday, October 25, 2010

Acts of God

Looks like fall is officially here.  The weather turned craptacular over the weekend.  The winds blew.  The rains rained.  It got cold.  I wore flannel.

It rained so hard in the night that there was some damage.  Not to anything I care about thankfully. 

No...Mother Nature rocked the vote and removed political signs from peoples yards and businesses.  You shouldn't mess with Mother Nature. 

Most of the signs for the highly contentious race for city council seats got blown out to the desert which is where they are going to end up anyway after election day.  That's where they burn the town's garbage.  A little tax money saved in waste removal for the little guy since those damned things are grouped by the dozens on every street corner and vacant lot. 

You would think that since I live in Nevada that I would care about the upcoming elections.  I do to a point.  The point is that everyone's gone crazy and I'm in agreement with an act of God. 

In the nationally covered Senate race I could vote for this brand of crazy:

Harry Reid has years of experience in wackadoo.

...Or I could vote for this brand of crazy:

Sharron Angle is fairly new to the institution but she looks promising.

It's difficult for me to decide who to vote for in these trying political times.  Mostly because the news stations I receive come out of Utah and they don't give a flip about Nevada candidates even though one is a Mormon and the other is fresh off the set of Big Love.

What I know about their crazy has come from the internets and YouTubes.

You look sort of Asian to me.

No, wait, I've also been educated by political phone calls.  Sharron Angle's posse called to invite me to attend some sort of shindig at the county seat.  When I politely declined on the basis that I live 120 miles away the caller said, "Oh, you're out there!  I didn't know you were so far!" to which I retorted, "Harry Reid's been to my town.  Does Sharron Angle even know where I live?  We're the only casino based town to turn a profit this year."

"Uh uh..."

Truthfully I don't think either of these crazies can find their own nostrils with their fingers when whistling in their noses gets too loud.

That's why I consider it an act of patriotism to wipe a booger on every campaign sign that's still standing.  Yeah, I'll perform my civic duty and cast an informed vote but I'll also keep my nose clean.

It's the least I can do in the age of reason.

1 comment:

  1. Although in Virginia we do not have any Senators up for re-election, several House districts are interesting. Most of the campaign literature/media ads are of the same type: place your opponent in the least favorable light possible providing there is at most 1% of truth in the message. Sigh! I wish we had a "None of the Above" on the ballot and if "None of the Above" had a plurality, then the incumbent was out on his/her backside and another election for that seat had to be held.

    Sometimes I think a group of randomly selected people from the phone books would be a better choice.

    I do applaud your choice of keeping your nose clean. Hope Nevada fares well on ToosDay.

    Now we return you to our regularly scheduled mud-raking election coverage.


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