Monday, January 03, 2011

Booger Fever

I'd take a victory lap around my kitchen but I'm too pooped.  All I've done is loaded the dishwasher.

After a week of flu that had my muscles feeling like lead weights, my head feeling like a wrecking ball had hit it, glands which framed my face and created an extra set of boobs in my armpits and phlegm like congealed gravy, loading the dishwasher deserves a medal.

My family's been battling this flu since the second day after Christmas when my husband woke up with chills and fever.  The next morning he woke with Andre the Giant chills and fever, to the point where he lost conciousness for a minute or two and took a faceplant on the floor.  That evening I loaded up on the chills and fever.  The next night I took two tablets of Alka Seltzer flu formula and discovered that I can indeed time travel just by thinking about it, faceplant not necessary.

My lips look like those packages of dried fish on the shelf underneath the cans of La Choy at the grocery store no matter how much vaseline I slather on them. 

My husband and I have been near useless.  Our New Year's Eve party ended promptly at 12:01 after bowls of soup and three tablets of ibuprofen each.

The kids have had their turn but none of them suffered nearly as much as their parents.  I have two of the three missing the first day back to school because of fevers last night.  Today they are bright eyed and bored.  Best to make sure they're clear for takeoff though.

I'd hate to give flu to the kid that keeps eating the glue sticks in class.

This morning I woke up and created modern art in a tissue, that and fatigue being the last of the flu symptoms.  We're all on the mend.  Eyes sunken into the backs of our skulls, but feeling more human every day.

...and being human requires we eat using dishes and utensils.  Preferably clean ones.  Woo, I loaded the dishwasher!

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