Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I shoulda learned to play the guitar.

I'm in the middle of watching MTV.

I'm only 36, so MTV isn't a foreign concept to me.  Back in my college days I lived to watch The Real World and Road Rules and Daria.  Whoever rented the apartment we lived in before us illegally hooked up the cable and we weren't complaining.  That's when MTV still played music videos, before there was a Napster, and cable amounted to around 30 channels.

Now I'm watching "I Used to be Fat".  18 year olds are given the summer after their high school graduations to work off some major weight.

This show ain't too bad.  There is a lot less whining than other shows on MTV.

CoughCoughSweetSixteenCough.

CoughCough16andPregnantCough.

Speaking of "16 and Pregnant", I was asked today what I thought of that program, since I was also a coughcoughteenmother.

I found myself knocked up at age 18 mere moments after my high school graduation. Doesn't feel as good as finding your keys after you've misplaced them or finding a twenty dollar bill you didn't know you'd left in your pocket. When the movie Juno appeared in theaters I suddenly found myself an ambassadress of teen motherhood and was asked to tell my story.  You can find it on my right sidebar, entitled "The Condom Broke", or I can be a sweetie and hyperlink part one HERE.

In my defense I like to think that my two years of maturity puts me over on the subjects of 16 and Pregnant...but the truth is that even at 16 I had more sense than what I've seen in my limited viewing of the program and I still managed to find myself in the family way.

Condoms, they ain't foolproof, yo.  Neither is the pill.  Had the pill baby when I was 30.  Yes, with the same daddy.  Sex causes babies.  Had it with him before marriage because I loved him, still having it with him because I love him.  Lucky guy.

...and yes, I went to college as mentioned above.  I have a decent life.  I am not currently on welfare or meth.

So, what do I think of the show?

I think it's overproduced, overpriced and overhyped.  That makes for a backwards journey into adulthood for these teen parents.  The more convoluted it gets the more camera time a kid that still needs so much growth and guidance gets.  This is not "keeping it real."  This is keeping a crappy situation marketable.

Had they filmed my entry into teen motherhood and marriage, they might have keeled over in post production boredom.  How do you edit in something compelling?  I guess they could have filmed my struggle with my postpartum hemorrhoids or finding myself amazed when my infant suddenly projectile vomited six feet across the room or trying to fix my new vacuum when I'd sucked up a pair of underwear.  Maybe they could have done a study in how we budgeted down the to penny, did without gadgetry and paid our bills on time.

This begs the question.  Would I rather have had to lose 100 pounds over the summer after my highschool graduation or go through morning sickness, stretchmarks and drug free labor?

Neither.  I wish I'd gotten myself a pony.

C'est la vie.

4 comments:

  1. Well if you learned to play the guitar, your songs too could have been banded from being played in Canada, without some editing, that is!

    Erf

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  2. You are still a fun read after all these years! I don't know any of those shows- about the closest I get to reality shows is the daily news. That is real enough for me and I am sure that most of it is unscripted. Oh, and then there is Pat's favorite Bi@#h to watch, Judge Judy. I am always amazed that they can find the people they do to come onto a show like that and make themselves look so stupid.

    Anyway, after five years of following you here, I am glad to find you still just as perky as you were when I started reading you in Jan, 2006. Keep it up!

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  3. My Mom has to watch her Judge Judy. There isn't much daytime TV I want to wach anymore.

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  4. JJ is the only daytime show that we ever watch and happily it starts here at 16:00 so Pat can watch it and then right after I get the evening news at 17:00. Works for us and I'll admit to occasionally watching a few of the fools on JJ although I really can't stand to waste time with many of them. But they are kind of funny.

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