Tuesday, January 25, 2011

If my cats could talk they'd be asking me where I put the cheetos.

After asking for suggestions from anyone who happened to see my status on Facebook, our family decided on a state of the union menu for this evening.  Could have been Kenyan.  Could have been Hawaiian.  We wimped out with Chicago style pizza and oreos.

Hey, it's what my kids would eat.  Kenyans eat goats people.  I'm sure goats are delicious animals but I didn't have time to procure and butcher a goat.  I did not have time to pound out any poi.  I did have time to procure and butcher a couple frozen pizzas and clumsily open a bag of oreos.

Oh, I'm so American, ain't I?  If it doesn't come brightly packaged and frozen, or passed from a pimply teenager in a drive thru line, I ain't eating it.  Goat?  Supersize me.

I thought the state of the union went rather well.  Everyone in the place seemed on their best behavior.  No one fidgeted, farted, whined, spoke out of turn, cried for their mommies or got put in time out.

Ever notice that McCain has dainty fingers?  If he had given the rebuttal I may have just focused on his dainty fingers and not the words coming out of his mouth.

Not that it matters to anyone, but I'd like to write about the state of the absent minded.

My Roku quit allowing us to connect it to the internet and finding a fix for this is driving me bonkers.  It has something to do with my wireless router which means that performing my usual computer voodoo is not working.

The new vacuum cleaner is working better than expected.  So well in fact that when I was using it to dust I accidentally sucked up my hair.  Both hair and vacuum are fine.

I made the mistake of purchasing only one catnip filled cat toy and I have three cats.  This necessitated an emergency catnip run for two more toys and now my feline herd is stumbling about glassy eyed.  My old dumb gay cat Booger made love to his toy most thoroughly.  It was a bit embarrassing for everyone.

My grocery store bakery has been selling whoopie pies for 99 cents each.  A dollar's worth of sin is still a sin.  I'm licking sin off my fingers.

Ten best picture nominations and none of them was Tron?  WTF?

I did our taxes today.  It was a pleasant experience.

That's all I got.  The state of absent minded must be strong because if it were weak I would be as glassy eyed as my cats after all this food and politics.  At least I didn't attempt to make thorough love to any screenshots of John Boehner.

Yeah, I said Boehner, heh heh heh heh.

2 comments:

  1. I made brownie covered oreos (recipe at http://picky-palate.com/2010/12/06/brownie-covered-oreos/) yesterday. Someone told me they were so rich that she could only eat one. I could eat many more than one. Thought you might be interested (I didn't bother with the drizzle on top).

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  2. If your cats could talk, I think you would have a lot more money.

    Erf

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