You know why cat videos go viral on YouTube? Because cats are little turds, adorable little turds. Most everyone has a soft spot for something so cute yet so retarded.
Today for instance; two of my three cats were perched on my bed waiting for me to come out of the bathroom after my shower. There was a time when it was a somewhat difficult proposition not to have children waiting for you at the bathroom door, if not outright in the bathroom with you during your constitutional, but now my children have grown out of an urge to intrude. I've replaced toddler bathroom monitors with feline ones. My cats want to stick their heads into the toilet bowl while I try to put down the lid so they can watch the toilet paper or anything else in the bowl swirl down the hole when I flush.
So you close the bathroom door and the cats bide their time, trying the door hoping to find it loose, but if not they wait. Did you shower? You did? I dislike water. You showered. I'll sit on the bed and think about how disgusting you are for showering....in the water.
I can guess at my cat's thoughts and feel happy that my cats won't talk about my physical appearance when I come out in a towel. I have never had qualms about drying off in front of them and getting dressed.
That is, until today...
...when guessing at my cat's thoughts would be useless. It went down like this.
Both cats had to be shoved off the clothes I'd laid on my bed. Because when there are clothes on the bed that's where cats need to park their butts. This is cat law. Then when I bent over to put my panties, one foot and then the other, and whilst drawing them up my legs, my cat Chumlee jumped up off the bed from behind me and attacked the underwear near to middling to my bum, almost shredding my sensitive areas with his claws.
....which was most unexpected.
Both cats bolted from the room when I screeched, flailing, near naked, my legs bound together by half on underpants, trying not to fall on my face.
Now my elastic has more pops and snags.
There is your image of the day. You are welcome.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
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