Excuse me, but can I tell you something? Something rather personal? You let me know if I'm a bit too forward...
...but you look like you could use a good Firthing.
I can tell by that dullness in your eyes. Winter's lingering and what's better to pull you out into a leafy green spring than a long determined Firthing?
You can start with Girl with a Pearl Earring. Just to rev your motor a bit.
When you are sufficiently tingly, put on something more comfortable with Bridget Jones Diary.
Get breathless with Love Actually.
Start sweating with Valmont.
Then go from "oh yes..." to "OH MY GOD YOU RAGING BEAST, HARDER HARDER HARDER!" with all six episodes of Pride and Prejudice.
Then go take a pee and make a sandwich with Nanny McPhee.
Then hit Pride and Prejudice again, the last two episodes at least, just because you can.
So there it is, put some spring in your step and go get Firthed. You can thank me for the suggestion later. Or, if you see me, we can trade knowing smiles.
Too long between Firthings and you'll go crosseyed.
Absent Minded Archives
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- Time to arrange an audition with Maurice Starr
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