Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Why running through the sprinklers will be a total letdown this summer.

In a reaction to recent events, which you can read about here, and here, and here, my husband and I have decided to stuff our family into our fabulous mini van this summer and drive them all to Disneyland.  It's time and we can sure use a dose of the happiest place on Earth.

We've taken our family to Disneyland once before.  I was asked to babysit two children for a school year and I agreed thinking that visiting Mickey could result from being paid for something I did all day long with my own children anyway.

That school year is why I will not agree to watch anyone else's children as a day job ever again.

Other people's children smell funny.  Meh...I won't write any more than that. 

Despite the daily loaded diapers that paid our way, our last trip to Disneyland was the most perfect family vacation ever taken.  It was a week of blissful family happiness without whining, tantrums, shouting, vomitting, bedwetting, burned dinners or unexpected donkey attacks.  Every second was easy, just easy, and fireworks every night ain't bad either.

I say that remembering that I shared a hot-tub at the Howard Johnson's with Bubba Bosephus and his tow-away cooler full of Pabst and I outdoor showered with a very large Samoan man at the beach.  If any of you wish to share some sort of personal space in a water venue near Disneyland with me, you'll find me very enthusiastic about every aspect of it.  You can fart in the hot tub even.

Disneyland, squee!

I'm expecting this vacation to be like the last one was, dammit, or else I will kick someone's ass.  See if I don't. 

As a bonus this time around, because last time we flew, we'll stop in Vegas on the way there and back.  This is just to get my 17 year old some of those trading cards they hand out on the strip. 

Exotic dancers, squee!

I am so looking forward to easy. 

I am also looking forward to our hotel room with a separate suite for Mom and Dad.

No Pabst necessary.

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