Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The All Weather Marriage

This weekend I travelled into Utah County, where the construction on the freeways causes a person to wonder if they've truly lived their lives to the fullest, to help my parents celebrate their 50th anniversary at a party held in their honor.

Gourmet cupcakes were served. This almost made getting squished between a gargantuan motorhome and a semi truck carrying livestock worth the drive. I wish someone would get around to inventing a teleporter already because maybe texting whilst teleporting won't cause the person teleporting alongside you to scream like a little girl in fear for their lives.  The Utah freeway construction plans temporarily cut a foot width off the lanes...GET OFF YOUR DAMNED PHONE YOU TWIT.

This photo was included in a "This is your Life!" style DVD shown at the party. I'm adorable.

Thirty-six years of their marriage included me!  Awesome for everyone!

Fifty years though. Wow. That's a lot of time coming to grips with becoming saggier as you raise your kids, they raise their kids, and their kids start having their own kids.  And greyer.  And blinder.

What do you think it takes to be married to one person for that long?

Mutual stubbornness? Not that stubbornness is an altogether awful trait to possess. To put a positive spin on it you could call it "stick-to-it-tiveness." That's a word much like a two year old child with a wad of cotton candy in each chubby fist. Cute and in need of a bath.  Mutual bathing for sticky situations...yeah, that could be it.

Maybe it's a high tolerance level to each other's more annoying habits. My dad snores like a boar in heat. My mom is addicted to Aqua Net and her vacuum. These along with all the dumb stuff we all do which none of us would do in public...it all adds up you know.  Maybe their tolerance equation is a lot longer with more variables than other people's equations.  Maybe another woman would take her love of Aqua Net too far.  Maybe the Aqua Net has killed off brain cells that would foster intolerance.

Maybe it's shared interests.  They both like playing board games, like Triominos.  Neither will play Scrabble with me anymore.  Neither of them enjoy having their ass handed to them by their progeny.  They've stood up to my vocabulary and word placement skillz and said, "No more!"

Maybe it's the ability to communicate their feelings and needs using "I" statements.

No, that's not it.

Could be all the stuff they do that I'm not privy to.  Not just the stuff that any self respecting child doesn't want to think about their parents doing (but used to hear them doing anyway) but all the stuff that is their marriage and no one else's marriage.  Their methods and their madness.  Marriage as they've made it.  Every day.

Yup, that's probably it.

Couldn't replicate that if I tried, what the two of them are together.  I have to make it to fifty years in my own marriage on our own steam in our own way.

That and maybe I'll buy a can of Aqua Net just for insurance.


  1. Congratulations to your parents. That is a record not equaled very often anymore.

    You asked what does it take to get to 50 years married. The first thing it takes is for both of the couple to live long enough. I think both Pat & I would have made that with our first spouses if they hadn't died too soon.


Absent Minded Archives