Thursday, May 26, 2011

Poprah

My mood IS better. Thank you for asking. You may take off your helmet. The only person I'm smacking around today is my husband and that is because he's taken to liking it. He's naughty.

I still feel a little lost though. A little off kilter.

Oh-pur. There was no more Oh-pur today.

On my local news yesterday, the male anchor asked the female what she thought of Oprah and her last episode. It was her job to watch it afterall...she's got the ovaries amongst her other qualifications. She said something to the effect of, "It was like attending the church of Oprah."

Lord yes.

Not that attending the church of Oh-pur is an altogether horrible thing. Of all the directions she could have taken her show, with all her influence, and income, and that big booming voice, she could have molded the world any way she saw fit. Instead of gratitude journals and a-ha moments we could have had heavily hinted at hit lists and live fart contests. Whole months of KKK kingpins, skinheads and Mary Kay consultants. A very special episode of morbidly obese pets. A segment about drinking out of a funnel and then twirling until you vomit.

Sarah Palin would have been vice president for sure.

Nothing wrong with being told to contribute something positive to the world. For the love of God and Oprah, be a dynamic energy, choose better and then own it.

I admit, I teared up a bit.

Four PM rolled around today and I had nothing to watch on TV. For months now I've not watched much TV during the day whatsoever. Home improvement got dull. Everyone has been born. I already know how to throw together a home cooked meal in a half hour. Game shows got noisy. The fluff on morning news stopped curbing the crappy feeling of starting your day with the real news. Reality TV ain't real and I stopped watching soap operas before Susan Lucci won her Emmy. Oprah fed me in HD every afternoon unless she was fawning over celebrities and then I turned it to Cash Cab.

Even if she interrupted her guests in her church. Most of the time I still got something interesting out of it.

This Rapture joker got it partially right when it comes to the world ending. His church can't possibly hold my attention after retrieving my kids from school though. Not that he's doing much of anything after October 21st anyway.

Sigh. I miss Oh-pur already.

Ben Bailey on Cash Cab...I'm looking to you for a-ha moments buddy. I have no other TV prophets to lead me.

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