Thursday, June 02, 2011

Cold cold warmer warmer hot hot hot ON FIRE

I was just at the grocery store.  It's one of the places I tend to go when we run low on milk and snacks with a high level of sugar and fat.  Snacks that aren't represented on the new dinner plate shaped graph that replaced the food pyramid. The way my teenager smells lately we might also be running low on personal hygiene products...either that or he's used them all up in one of his hour long showers.

Before any of these items were in my cart giving away my station in life, while I was browsing for graduation cards in the greeting card aisle, a shy, handsome and impressively tattooed man introduced himself and asked me out for a drink.  He'd already decided on a Father's Day card and that's a good enough reason to imbibe as any.

Being asked out has not happened to me in a while.  Not out of the blue like that anyway.  Took me a moment to shift gears because I'd spent the evening telling my five year old to stop karate chopping the furniture and to put back on his shirt.  Nice and unexpected.

My mom jeans must have looked all perky.

Sometimes it's the hair.  When my long hair is loose it has a hypnotic effect on many of the male sex.

Or maybe it was because I ventured out braless and it was kinda chilly.

Or because I left my wedding rings at my parent's house last weekend.  I took them off to do the dishes.

Anyhow, I had to turn him down.  That's marriage for you.  Casual dating sucks after you vow to honor and cherish.

Did I mention that this guy was not at all bad to look at?   And muscular?   Uh-huh.

The satisfied fuzzy feeling of being asked out had lasted all of fifteen minutes when I had a hot flash in the store and it all melted away whatever attracted him in a rush of perimenopausal sweat.

Now I just feel matronly and damp.

Mother Nature stole my thunder, that cow.


  1. lol... Shame on Mother Nature!! But hey, nice to still know that you're attractive to others of the opposite gender whom you're not married to!

  2. Lady, you crack me up. I found you via the DoCo and am so glad I did. Especially since I'm talking ovary-removin' with my doc and you've given me such gorgeous insight into the wonders that would await me!

  3. Ann, my little sister had one of her ovaries removed, her whole uterus and part of her thyroid. She's the hot flash queen.

    We both grow lustrous goatees.


Absent Minded Archives