Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Four Insects and a Funeral

When we were visiting The Happiest Place on Earth, I was fascinated to find a very large cockroach going for an evening stroll in our hotel parking lot.  So fascinated that I caught this cockroach so I could look at it closely.  Bugs do not freak me out and where I live, cockroaches aren't a fact of life.  Some other places a person could live, like around a major family theme park destination or Texas, you're going to have roaches.  You cannot have sticky faced wailing vomiting children dropping churros and cartoon shaped ice cream bars all over and not get some massive cockroaches.  Where I live the only way you get cockroaches is if you do everything in your power to welcome them over short of entering into a contract with Six Flags.

Where I live we also have no fleas.  Something about our climate and elevation.  So that's kickass.

Anyway, there I was, in an underground parking lot near Disneyland, looking at the ass end of a cockroach so I could determine if I had a girl roach or a boy roach.   Gynecological entomologists aren't much respected in the insect world and it flew off before I could tell.  Shucks.

Female bugs typically have little pincer type bits on their back ends.  Excellent to grasp dollar bills with when they pole dance.  The more you know.

More evidence that bugs do not freak me out.  Shortly before bed last week, two of my three cats were acting ku-ku-nuts, running about the house, growling, pouncing and upon inspection I found that they had been torturing a largish scorpion.

Not many roaches around here.  Plenty of scorpions.  Not many churros.  Plenty of desert.  In twelve years of Nevada living I'm surprised that I haven't had a scorpion in my house up until now.  Don't worry, this variety is not poisonous.

Poor scorpion.  It had been crunched on and so I flushed it down the toilet.  Then I regretted doing so because I could have looked at it more!  I do not know how to tell if this is a girl scorpion or a boy scorpion but based on size alone, probably a girl. 

I also found this bug ambling along the center of my family room after a late night summer thunderstorm some time ago.

House centipedes are also common. harmless and not any way affiliated with the sex industry.   Adorable!

A time or two I've mentioned the tarantula hawk wasps that gather in my flowering trees in the spring.

Get one of those in the bug zapper and it's like the Fourth of July.

So, the point is, I like bugs. 

Yesterday, though, I did not like a bug I found...and I found it quite dead, thank the lord.

It looked like it had been dead a long time but I'm still on the lookout for others just like it and that's what has me freaked out.

You see, I found another cockroach.  A BIG COCKROACH.  In the bag we'd packed our clothes in to go to Disneyland.  A stowaway.  A sneaky bastard.  A bug that had probably made it's way into my stuff IN OUR HOTEL ROOM.  In between our vacation in late June and now, it had lived and it had died and I don't have a date of death for it.  And there might be other stowaways and they might have had lots of babies and those babies had babies and A BIG DEAD COCKROACH!

It calms me down to think that the scorpion may have come into my house to eat the cockroach and left it's exoskeleton for me to find and subsequently for one of my cats to eat.  Yes, my cat saw the dead cockroach and made a quick snack of it.  It also ate two houseflies and a moth.  Then Beulah licked herself and I wondered if she had a fetish.

It also calms me to think that if my house did become infested, my cats would eat pretty damned good in the neighborhood.

But...just eww...ewwwww. 

I slept just fine after scorpion night but until I spray this house down with some kind of poison, I'm bedding down with one eye open.

Lord, please, tell me my cats can just eat ONE.


  1. Oh holy sweet Jesus mother of fucking God, I am NEVER moving to where you live. I would shit myself just from the scorpion, let alone the tarantula flying thingy and the other thing with a gazillion legs. NO THANKS!!

    Give me a lizard, snake or frog but do NOT give me bugs!

  2. oh wow yall have some majorly scary bugs there in nevada! im in mississippi and yes we see cock roaches, mosquitos, beetles, etc. but nothing like those animals. that tarantula thing would scare the beejezus out of me! that thing looks like it would eat me alive lol!

  3. Thanks for the Welcome. :)

    I'm with Amy, Think I'll stay in CO. I hate creepy crawly things. I didn't realize Nevada had all those and you picking them up, I'd run screaming like a girl....oh wait I am a girl. LOL.
    Funny Post!!! Even if it did make my skin crawl.

  4. I don't MIND bugs. Outside. Or behind glass.

    I don't like SWARMS of things, and I don't like big crawly things in my home.

    Some of your pictures made me shudder.

    Although we have a big seven-legged spider living in our shower curtain...

  5. WOW! I've lived in San Jose, CA, So. California, Utah, and Georgia. I thought Georgia had a lot of bugs, like 6 inch leg span spiders, roaches, wasps & hornets galore, but those are nasty desert critters!

    I'm now in San Jose again, and the biggest pest is yellow jackets, but they are not as common as in Georgia. We do get fleas, mosquitoes, black widows, and a few paper wasps here. But, no scorpions, tarantulas, or tarantula wasps here.


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