Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Twenty one anchor babies jumping on the bed.

Today's weather was absolutely beautiful...so why am I ending my daylight hours by watching the GOP presidential debate?

The rhetoric is making every muscle in my whole body sore. 

What's funny about this whole thing is that the passing of the buck, blame and flame is not unlike any other reality program on TV.  I once was forced to watch an episode of Survivor, after Thanksgiving dinner which seemed kind of ironic to me, and I'm not seeing much difference in the snarky process of voting someone off the island. 

I think there is more sexual tension between the candidates than between contestants though.  Just sayin'.

Tonight alliances are forming against Pretty Witty Mitty.  Eventually they are all going to tie their party provided red bandannas around their schlongs and start measuring.  This includes Michelle Bachman.  I dislike her politics but that woman has got balls and a wide stance.

Insert 9-9-9 joke here.

I wish our modern day political debates ran more like the reality TV royalty, The Duggar Family.  Perhaps the whole tone of politicians talking over one another would be more palatable if they utilized the same rules as a family raising 21 homogeneous children.

1. Always use soft words, even when you don’t feel well.

2. Always display kind actions and joyful attitudes, even if you have been mistreated. Have the right response by quickly forgiving others in your heart even before they ask.

3. Always be enthusiastic and look for opportunities to praise others' character.

4. Always deflect praise and be grateful to God and others for the ways they have benefited your life.

5. Always use manners and be respectful of others and their belongings.

6. Always do what is right, even when others may not, or when no one is looking.

7. Thank God for how He made you, for what He has given you and everything He allows you to go through. (Romans 8:28)

8. Don’t mock or put others down. Develop compassion and pray for others.

9. Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault). Don't wait till you’re caught. Be sure your sins will find you out. He who covers his sin will not prosper, but he that confesses and forsakes it shall find mercy.

10. Have a tough accountability/prayer partner to daily share your heart with and to keep you in line (your parents, spouse). The power of sin is in secrecy.

11. Be attentive and look for ways to serve others with sincere motives and no thought of self-gain.

12. Think pure thoughts (Philippians 4:8, Romans 13:14).

13. Always give a good report of others. Don't gossip! Never tale-bear unless physical harm will come to someone. (Use Matthew 18.) 14. Never raise a hand to hit.

14. Never raise a foot to kick.

15. Never raise an object to throw.

16. Never raise a voice to yell.

17. Never raise an eye to scowl.

18. Use one toy/activity at a time. Share!

19. Do your best to keep your surroundings neat, clean and organized.

20. Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don’t go to bed angry or guilty)

21. Amendment J.O.Y. - Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.

I admit, I'm a registered middle of the road Democrat, but oh, if I could vote for conservative Jim Bob Duggar for President, I would. 

We may not agree on gay marriage or evolution Jim Bob, but you've got my support. 

Here's your bandanna.


  1. It seems to me that the "silly season" has grown longer over the years. Before much longer, the way it is going, politicking will have to start before the President gets installed in office in January after the election. I guess that will be good for business for media outlets but I sure won't like it.

  2. I have to leave the house in a minute to take my son to my mother's house for a sleepover. I'm dreading this because even though she only lives minutes away, I know it's going to take me thirty minutes to get down a hill between 3200 West and Bangeter highway. Why? Because of construction. Why? Because of uncontrolled population growth in Our Lovely Deseret. Somehow, I blame the Duggars for this. Even though they don't even live in Our Lovely Deseret. Even though they are an incredibly polite and resourceful people. As I try to make my home tonight and ever other night until the continuous flow traffic intersection is completed, (and has been being built for the past several months) I will curse the breeders of the world. CURSES, BREEDERS!!! (I'm pretty sure Jim Bob has run for office and that it was a polite campaign.)

  3. I meant to say "every" other night and not "ever" other night. I'm not trying to speak like I'm a woman from the sticks who doesn't believe in contraception.

  4. Jim Bob served as an Arkansas state legislator. It's my dream to never move to Arkansas. He ran for a senate seat and lost.

    I believe in contraception when it works.

  5. Just wanted to let you know that you have two number 14's on the list.


Absent Minded Archives