Monday, November 14, 2011

The holiday spirit is in a friendly face.

My husband and I took off to the busy beehive that is Utah County over Veterans Day weekend to do what every patriotic American was expected to do when we first got into our economic  We were hoping to make a dent in Christmas.  Instead we made a dent in our patience.

We barely escaped with our lives travelling not only on the freeways but in the stores as well.  I was rammed by shopping carts in Walmart, Toys R Us, at the Deseret Industries (a Mormon church run thrift store) and in the grocery store when I attempting to buy fresh bratwursts at the meat counter.

The Christmas spirit has not hit "Happy Valley" yet.  It will eventually, in it's own sweet spirited way, but until then don't dare be in front of a display of fur lined slippers when someone else comes along and desperately needs a pair.  There is a time limit to deciding between the tan faux suede pair and the velvet zebra print.  Don't overstay your consumer welcome.

There are some that live in the Utahiest place in Utah who think that the armpit of casino hell I live in is one of the most uncivilized places on the planet but all I've got to say about that is that I can drive across my town at 20mph and not have one person cut me off or tailgate me along the way.  There is the possibility that another driver could flash me the finger but that's only because the Utah tourists dislike my Obama bumper sticker.

I snagged this at the Lord's thrift store:

I'm not the kind of girly girl that would know if this is a real Kate Spade bag.  It's sort of a fluke that I even know what a Kate Spade bag is.  Fake or not, it was worth the ten bucks I paid for it.  I've been looking for a purse that doesn't look like you could smuggle a twenty pound turkey in it.  This purse could only smuggle a cornish game hen.

About when I was getting pissy at the shopping cart behaviors of other thrift shoppers, I snagged this, next to a framed print of Jesus:

This is Adam.  Adam is a Lot Technician.  Adam probably does not know that when he left his position at the car dealership they'd donate his beautifully framed and matted photo to the thrift.  Adam, Lot Technician, instantly pulled me out of the funk of busy beehive retail hell and the two dollars I paid for him was a bargain.  Every time I look at Adam I laugh and then I find some glimmer of hope in humanity. 

Adam, Lot Technician, now hangs above my computer by my cork board. 

Adam, Lot Technician, makes me smile.

Thanks Adam.

Lot Technician.


Who IS Adam, Lot Technician? What's his story? Best story (likes will be considered) will be awarded a Thongwiser! What's Thongwiser? A pair of stringy thong panties packaged in a recycled beer bottle. Thong goggles! You know you want to put a Thongwiser in someone's stocking.
 Post your stories to Absent Minded Housewife on Facebook in the photo comments.  Do EET!


  1. Oh, good God. I already thought this post was hilarious, but when I got to "Adam. Lot Technician." it was like a hug from Jesus. That, my friend, is LOL funny. And not just a little.

  2. That is a good looking bag but not as good looking as Adam. If he deserved to be framed, he deserves to be in display.
    I got a Tommy Hilfiger bag for 12 at a thrift store and it is my favorite!

  3. We had a Cadillac dealer in our town that closed down last summer. For two or three weeks after the place closed there was a professionally made sign that probably originated when GM dropped their Pontiac & Oldsmobile lines that read, "Cadillac, Here To Stay." It really looked funny high up on the building as you would look across the totally empty lot. I guess someone noticed how it somehow didn't really fit the situation and it disappeared.


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