Wednesday, November 02, 2011

You shouldn't make mimosas with orange flavored mouthwash.

My face feels like a week old lump of play dough in a preschool classroom.  Pummelled, half dry and full of hairs and boogers.

What I thought was a sinus infection is probably an abscess in my back molar.  Yeah, it hurts and I get to call the dentist tomorrow morning.  Let him have his turn rolling my face out on the table and then punching it with his fist.  At the very least he might be mold something other than turd shapes and he'll prescribe me pain medication.

I'm calling a new dentist instead of my old dentist so we can accomplish root canal craft hour sedated.  My old dentist has a hair replacement scar and tsks at me when I admit I don't floss as much as I should.  He gives out no sleeping pills.  New dentist will.  During the whole ordeal I'd like to blissfully retire to happy land, where the chocolate covered cinnamon bears roam free and no one gets tartar. 

I hate flossing.  It's a feeling much like the sound of the whole preschool class running their boogery nails on the chalkboard.  My Waterpik arrives next week. 

That's about all the post I have in me.

I need antibiotics.


  1. You should actually feel more in love because of that saying, "abscess makes the heart grow fonder."

    What's wrong with you?

  2. The problem is that people in love with me want to stick things in my gob.

  3. Feel better. I hate flossing too.

  4. I don't really believe that anybody flosses and I don't like judgy-judge dentists who act like you're the only one not doing it. Feel better.


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