Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Santa is going down your chimney.

Since the gods of the internets have debuted the new xxx domain designation, all the world's movers and shakers have bought up their names with a porny ending.  This is because when you own your own porn site no one else can besmirch your good name with it.  Instead you can besmirch your name yourself without abandon because you own the right to.

After all, protecting your interests is a good idea for anyone and just about anyone can purchase a domain name.  I purchased this one for way less than it would cost to sponsor a child in a third world country.  XXX domains cost much more than the plain old dot com kind but that kind of puts it all in perspective doesn't it?  I could buy up my pervy domain name for my own protection or I could buy a few bags of wheat and some canned goods.

It might be nice to spring for some xxx domain names for my friends and family for Christmas.  There is no use buying them any more useless appliances or trays of baked goods.  Gonna buy them a gift that keeps on giving.  Many names are still swinging around untaken. 

Doesn't everyone want their own adult domain?  Especially one in which you could cater to people just like you?

Some of my friends are into running marathons barefoot.  Imagine the possibilities of an xxx domain based on that.  Close up photos of bare naked feet on just warming blacktop early in the morning or pictorials of hot chicks running and sucking down that nasty glucose energy goo, running down the corners of their mouths and dripping on their irritated nipples.

Some of my friends are into secondhand shopping.  There are whole realms of fetishes we could delve into on secondhand.xxx.  Refurbished furniture, collections of mismatched glassware, crafts for old jeans and wool sweaters.  Donated crutches and walkers...oh god yes!

A lot of my friends are geeky sorts with pasty skin. There simply aren't enough sites on the internets catering to that demographic.  I could think of hundreds of combinations of programming languages and body parts to add an xxx to.  Play hide and seek with your thumb drive.

My mother enjoys vacuuming.  She really enjoys vacuuming.  Here ya go mom - vacuumlove.xxx.

My Dad is restoring a 1955 Buick Special Convertible -  whatsunderyourweldinghelmet.xxx or trunks_n_portholes.xxx

My sisters have all manner of hobbies and I think I could lump their domain together.  I'm sure there are some that would be interested in a group of sisters and their hobbies.  Groups of sisters bowling, or playing softball, or gardening or baking cookies together.  SisterlyAffection.xxx

My husband is into poetry.  I dunno.  I'm unsure if anyone goes into the xxx realm looking for a nasty simile or prurient alliteration in iambic pentameter.  Sorry Justin.

Could buy a couple for myself to in some acceptable xxx vernacular.  It'll be a good investment.  Buy a bunch of housewife-y sounding domains and sell them later for moooolaahhhh.

My heart is turgid with Christmas spirit!


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