Back in 1997, when Celine Dion was screeching about how her heart would go on, my husband and I did the unforgivable at the time. In some sort of early adulthood hipster protest we did not go see Titanic. Neither of us has ever seen Titanic and we wear that badge proudly.
In fact, we made fun of those who had seen Titanic. We know why the women flocked to see it but why the men did had more dubious motives. Motives more than likely lubricated with spermicide with a reservoir tip.
Just like we make fun of people who have seen Twilight today. Point finger. Laugh. You silly glitter freaks...and the men that love you.
We were happy when the tide of Titanic finally washed away. Then George W. got elected. Then James Cameron directed Avatar and we traded in freezing to death together to "I see you." resurrection. Unfortunately my husband and I went willingly enough to that one but wouldn't pony up for the 3D effects. Avatar made us question our better sense.
Our James Cameron is re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Silly moviemaker! Won't go see it. Nope nope nope. No one's making me see it.
That is, until the man you married questions his better sense...
...and remembers that this scene, a scene he has not experienced before but read about in People magazine, will appear in HD right up in your face.
I hope he falls in a freezing ocean and loses all sensation in his balls.
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