This might be some kind of crime against childhood and nostalgia, but I'm really beginning to hate the local ice cream truck.
It's a sunshine yellow truck. It's driven by Satan's minions and sells kid crack in frozen dairy form.
Every single stinking afternoon since early April this truck has made it's way into my neighborhood, blaring nursery rhymes, and promising children that if they whined at their parents in just the right tone, they too could enjoy bubble gum flavored ice cream in the shape of Spongebob Squarepants.
Spongebob LactoseSugarMilkfatArtificialFlavoringPants is priced at $1.50. I have three children. Not saying no to ice cream out of a truck will cost me over $600 for as long as the warm weather lasts.
I've suggested an alternative to my kids which I think will provide all of the novelty and none of the parental annoyance. They, of course, pooh-poohed the idea. I just don't see why I can't line up my kids on the sidewalk, slowly drive by them in my fabulous mini-van, blare Justin Bieber or that "I'm sexy and I know it" song, and throw Otter Pops at their heads.
Ahh summer! Waking up late, barbecue and pasta salad, running through the sprinklers in your underpants and Mom barely missing your eye with a festive otter named Poncho Punch.
Bonus! If I refuse to allow them to eat their Otter Pops I can just refreeze them and we can do the whole thing over again the next day! HUGE SAVINGS!
Oooh, I am so looking forward to having my kids home now!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
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