Thursday, August 30, 2012

Like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.

Just moments ago I wrote a check which confirms my membership in the "irrelevant" club.  I addressed this check to SHS Class of 1993 Reunion Commitee.

I'll wait while you count on your fingers.

Yes, that's how many years I've aged past cool.  Is cool still a thing?  What is the thing?  That's the thing?  Who thought that idiotic thing up?  Asphinctersayswhat?

High school was a pleasant enough time for me that I'm willing to show up in a banquet hall, maybe wearing pantyhose, probably wearing these shoes, and see and talk to all those people again. 

The point is, we've all changed. We've grown up.  Some of us in ways that are positive and all of us in ways that are wrinkling and sagging.  I know I have. 

Many of us might try to create the illusion that we haven't changed at all.  That we still have it...and our "its" are still relevant, if not attractive.  There will have been a rash of diets to tame our paunches. Clothing will be worn that will pull us in, thrust us out or push us up. Hair will be combed over, under, dyed, sprayed, fluffed or shaved off entirely. 

Some of us went off and became Democrats or Glenn Beck drones, of all things.

I have three weeks to sew a dress to wear.  I have three weeks to invent Post-it notes.  I have three weeks to prepare my life for the scrutiny of my peers.

Oh screw it.  They've probably read all about it here anyway.  Type "virginity" into the search line on the right sidebar.  Just do it.

After that, we'll have no reason to point out each other's love handles and bald spots.

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