Monday, January 14, 2013

What do you do when your nose goes on strike? Pick it.

I'm sorry all y'all are suffering from flu. 

Flu sucks.  That's if you could breathe through your nose.  The achiness and the grumpiness and spurting of fluids out of your orifices.  It's a rude interruption to winter, especially a winter that's been so frigid.  My thermometer tells me it's 9 degrees.

Flu hasn't hit Casa AbsentMinded yet.  None of us have had flu shots either.  What an irresponsible thing for the likes of a housewife to not pay much mind to.  Tomorrow I'm going to drag my kids to the pharmacy and demand they shoot us up.  I've partied with the pharmacist's assistant.  She knows how I like it. 

What has hit Casa AbsentMinded is lingering colds and therefore it's the season of the wiped booger.

Just moments ago I caught my seven year old son wiping his booger on our couch and I screeched.  Screeched in such a tone that my cats scrambled under my bed and my oldest son actually poked his head out of his room.  My husband jumped.  My middle son yelped...and my seven year old begin to whimper.

Because I saw that kid pull his thumb and his forefinger apart to stretch that booger before he tried to wipe it where I'm sitting right now...I saw what color it was...and I knew what color it would crust into, either on the cushion or on the back of my jeans.

Does this flu-shot negligent parent buy paper products which make booger disposal effective?  YES!  There are rolls upon rolls of the stuff in both of my bathrooms!  There are even trash receptacles in those bathrooms in which to dispose a booger tissues.

Don't you dare leave your snot rag laying around or I'll screech again!

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