Wednesday, February 06, 2013

A letter to my son in Navy boot camp from our cat, Chumlee.

My son Kaelan has been in Navy boot camp a week as of today.  I figure he's beginning to miss us a little bit.  He might miss parts of home that didn't occur to him to miss previously.  I think it's my duty to write him letters in that vein.  I write this letter in behalf of our half-witted cat, Chumlee.






Dear tall sweaty boy person,


Why you no sleep in my room?  You has good snacks hide there.  Lick dishes.  Chew on socks.  I like see out your window.

Birds.  Birds outside.  Crunchy snacks fly all over.

Old lady person clean room.  Spider.  Good snack.  Suck up noise suck up my hair.  Room no decorated in my style.

Blond sweaty boy person sleep in my room now.  He no good snacks.  I like his pets though.  He make purrs.

Little boy person chase me.  I no bird!

Food taste good.  I eat it.

Old man person.  I no like his pets.  He have good snacks though.  He tease me.  He not comfy to sit on.  He make big noises but not with voice.  Scare me.  Hide under bed.

Sister cat chase me.  Bite me.  I no bird!  I bite her.  She no like it.  Just play!

Squirrel outside.  It looks like snack.  No let me eat him.  I hate squirrel.  Hate a lot.

Lady person sits on white chair.  She no let me look.  Whoosh goes water.  I smell.  She eat stuff I no like.

Snow melt out window.  Want go!  Don't want get wet!  Don't want go!  Want go! 

Nap.  My rocking chair.  No sit there!

You no clean my poo place.  Blond boy person do it.  I like his pets.  Make sure poo stays on top for him.

Where you go?  You feed me.  I like you.  You no snore like old man person.  Scare me.

I nap now.


Chumlee

2 comments:

  1. I just emailed a MP3 file to you that contains one of the most famous songs about the Navy. As a Navy parent, you sure should have a copy of it! Enjoy!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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