Wednesday, March 13, 2013

May the force be with me.

Can we discuss other people's children for a minute?

I purposely use the plural term "children" because pointing out one specific child on the world wide web is irresponsible adult behavior.  As I fancy myself responsible, I don't allow myself to describe the particulars, as much as it would serve the little git right.  Crazy people might read this post and then a discussion would disingrate into graffiti and dead pets.

It isn't Fluffy's fault that other people's children bother me, got it?  Put the dog treats down.

So, these children, they are the ones that ding dong ditch you right as you're going to bed and then swear they didn't do it even if they are trying to hide behind your tree.  These children are the ones that take your kid's scooter, zipping up and down the street on it and calling your kid names when they pass.  These children are the ones that knock on your child's bedroom window when they are inside for the night ordering them to sneak out popsicles or extra Halloween candy.  These children are the ones who don't knock on your front door and instead just walk right on in without a hello, asking what you were eating for lunch and then declaring they don't like that. 

I've sent these children home for being under dressed, under washed and mouthy.

So when my child went out to play Jedi Zombie Killer with his super awesome and somewhat pricey double ended light saber and came back in without it, chances were that other people's children had it.

Or rather, other people's children had "borrowed" it and promised to bring it back in a week.

Then when other people's children borrow your child's awesome toy, other people's children take the toy several blocks away to their friend's house to continue playing Jedi Zombie Killer there, without giving proper notice to your child to where the toy or the game was now located.

It took a couple hours, a car ride, and the responsible adult at the friend's house several blocks away to recover the light saber.

Now, other people's children happen to know from previous experience that this parent has written their names in large red letters on her liste de poop.  This parent has no problem telling other people's children that they are not allowed to even think about entering my yard or looking cross eyed at my kids or their stuff when they've shown that they have no manners.

So why did other people's children show up at my house during dinner this evening asking if my kids could play?

Because other people's children must have no brain cells and suffer from amnesia, I swear to God.

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