Thursday, May 16, 2013

You can call me Sylvia Browne because all my predictions about today came true.

God bless elementary school teachers because the dear lord knows that I could never ever be one.  A school bus full of second graders for a day long field trip is more than I can handle for long.

I had four boys under my charge.  That's a lot of bathroom breaks.  A whole lot.  Pee everywhere.  How do the Duggars manage this with everyone needing to pee all the time?  Ma Duggar must have it down to an assembly line.  I can't imagine how a children's bathroom assembly line might function.  I suppose that if I could, entering the teaching profession probably would have made more sense to me.

Instead I steered away from teaching, had boy children five years apart and stopped at three of them.  This made bathroom stops manageable and the size of their bladders proportional.  Today's barrage of second grade bladders was terrifying and intimidating.

There were also many fart jokes.  To eight year old boys there is nothing funnier than a well cut fart. 

The kid I sat next to on the bus kept farting on the way there which he handily blamed on me.  This same kid blamed a random odor on me on the way home too.

On the way there at least he was quiet about the blame. Just between us.  A shared joke in our new friendship.

On the way back he just stood up and shouted, "Mrs. Evans farted!"  Then he asked if he could finish my tube of Pringles.  I told him no and gave him a banana instead.

Anyhow, I brought back a nice fossil rock for my garden.  Finished off my can of Pringles too.

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