Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Because a limerick would have crossed the line.

I'm not usually aware of trends.  I'm getting too damned middle aged to care, yet, sometimes I feel like I have to know what's going on in the world and in popular culture.

So, that George Zimmerman, his trial has started.

And that lawyer of George Zimmerman's, he opens his arguments at murder trials with knock knock jokes.

Because that is so totally appropriate! 
Knock knock.  Who's there?  George Zimmerman.  George Zimmerman who? All right, good, you're on the jury.

Yet, it's because I'm middle aged, a housewife, and not wholly aware of how fast the world moves, I figure that this behavior must be the new and popular thing to do.  Telling a knock knock joke can ease the tension in even the most uncomfortable of situations, right?  Pull off a knock knock joke with flair and confidence and the world from that point on is your oyster.

Have to speak at a funeral?  Pull out this knee-slapper!
Knock knock.  Who's there?  Boo.  Boo who?  Don't cry, it's only a joke!

Witnessing an execution by electric chair?  Try this:
Knock knock.  Who's there?  Barbie.  Barbie who?  Barbie Q. Chicken!

You're at the gynecologist's, right there in the stirrups, a little giggle won't hurt!
Knock knock.  Who's there?  Cantaloupe.  Cantaloupe who?  Cantaloupe...I'm already married!

In the confessional with your priest, right before you admit to lurid thoughts...
Knock knock.  Who's there?  Nuisance.  Nuisance who?  What's nuisance yesterday?

Birth of your child?  Make the moment even more memorable:
Knock knock.  Who's there?  Dewey.  Dewey who?  Dewey gotta use a condom?

Job interview, right at the beginning, because you want to make a good impression.
Knock knock.  Who's there?  Ivan.  Ivan who?  Ivan a job! I'm broke!

It might be best to just carry around a dog eared paperback copy of the best knock knock jokes in print, then you'll always be prepared for any situation.  A companion book to "How to Make Friends and Influence People" if you will.

Of course, if the reaction to all your levity is this:

...maybe it's not the joke, but the teller.

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