Monday, July 22, 2013

Kate's stretch marks are more royal than mine.

If I wrote a blog post about royal childbirth, would you roll your eyes and leave me?

Of course you would!  You've been wallowing in it all day.

Congratulations to Wills and Kate, but other than the well wishes, I won't add to the sheer abundance of afterbirth piling up about the internets.  Twitter users and Redditors might find their corners of the web slimy when photos of the new prince pop up in the coming days. 

Americans don't even have the common sense to carry a handkerchief to clean ourselves off with when we slip and fall in it, so it's best to limit our exposure.

Instead, know that the baby squirrels I've been waiting for have finally shown up in my yard. 

I've named the kits, two girls and one boy, "The Wesley Crushers".

This squirrel showed up too.  I've named him "Bill Shatner".

Now I'm going to go weed my yard in my bare feet.

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