Tuesday, August 06, 2013

For every popped collar, a kid in school loses an IQ point.

Yesterday my family took off to the big city to enjoy a visit with my urologist and finish up school shopping.

My urologist, a man I've fallen in much love with, sat with me in his new office, cross-legged, and we discussed my bladder in depth.  It was nice to report that the proper course of medications and drinking much water has allowed me to feel like myself again. That is, fabulous!

With that done, it was off to shopping for school clothes and supplies for my children, so they might also feel like themselves this year.

Lucky us, we don't live in a location that puts any emphasis on what you wear to school.  My kids don't risk feeling bad about themselves because they aren't wearing the right sneakers or a certain label on the butt of their pants.  There is competition for sure, and the usual ranking that kids will engage in, but it's got very little to do with what your parents can afford to buy for you. 

Back to school commercials have always driven me up a wall in that regard.  I'm so so so not interested in buying my children their identities through costume.

I know about costumes.  I sew them.  We don't need to wear one every single day of our lives to proclaim who we are and why we matter.  I thought we stopped wearing corsets a hundred years ago but the ads just plant their foots in the middle of our backs and tighten up them laces.

Walmart tells consumers that they have "All you need to succeed!" and that you'll be "Cool for School!"

Old Navy says we can "Go back to school in style."

Kmart tells us that we can "rule the school."

The Target ad shows children piling clothes and supplies into a shopping cart willy nilly.  The only time a parent says no is when a child attempts to put a big toy in the cart.

Kohl's apparently has a "double major in style and savings."

These are all stores I've shopped at for back to school.  These are also stores that have allowed me to dress my children in hand me downs when the clothes have lasted.  These stores have not supplied my children with one iota of their identities, no matter how much we've saved by shopping there.

OK, that's a half truth.  Walmart supplied my 14 year old son with this shirt for $7.50.

Shuddup.  We were all nerds before we bought the shirt.

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