Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I wish Shah Rukh Khan would feel my glands and discuss my hormones.

I developed a fairly severe ear infection over the weekend.

The local doctor felt my glands.  We discussed my hormones.  She prescribed me ear drops and an oral antibiotic.

I've been in quite a lot of pain.  I'd rather pass a kidney stone or give birth. 

The ear drops are making the right side of my face swell to three times it's normal size.  I can't feel my teeth.  My ear looks like a toddler's playdough masterpiece.  I'm not taking the next dose. 

Unlike other oral antibiotics, it's recommended that I take this one on an empty stomach.

My family is in the next room eating pizza for dinner.  Pizza which I did not cook for them and won't be eating because I can't chew.  The pizza smell will have to sustain me because I can't eat for another half hour and when I do, it'll be Cream of Wheat.

Did you come here hoping for the next and last installment on how to discuss sex with your kids?

I apologize profusely.  My ear is beginning to drain and when I can chew again, I'll get right on that.

For now, just think about how sensual Cream of Wheat is.

...and enjoy a nice clip from the Bollywood movie I watched today because it had subtitles...

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