Fine, YOU would. I didn't. But now I am and I'm pleased to announce that the Navy Manchild has grown a mustache.
He tells us that his mustache outranks other Navy mustaches and that less full mustaches have to defer to his. It's as good of a reason as any to be grateful for the hairy genetics I've passed down to him. The good thing is that the Navy won't allow him to grow that mustache down his neck and around his nipples.
Instead of blog posts, we put up a Christmas tree before Christmas Eve. I tied a quilt. We ate food. We baked. We figured out which cat pooped in my son's luggage. In general, we stayed home and allowed the family togetherness to unfold.
One of these Christmas cookies is not like the others...
Then it was off into Utah County, where we find the Absent Minded annual tradition of quotes from my extended family's togetherness. When it unfolds, it's best to keep some Wetnaps handy.
"You guys are perverts!"- My Jill, my little sister, who asked my parents if they had christened their newly re-upholstered loveseat and my Mom only giggled. in response.
- Justin, my husband, fishing for gifts from Jill's husband.
"I'll be refigifting that..."- Brian's response. Might as well regift such a cheesy present. Justin obviously regifted it from me. I'm wondering where my undying devotion will finally end up.
- Becky, The Absent Minded Housewife, delighted that my Dad got my mom her very first computer for Christmas. Then we all got on our phones to search YouTube.
- Me again, realizing exactly what my Mom getting an internet connection means. It means she's the one that's going to post zit popping videos.
- Seth, my heavily bearded nephew, who allowed me to run my hands through his facial hair. He's Duck Dynastied his facial hair down his neck and around his nipples.
If you recall, last year I asked to sniff his beard...
- Jackson, my sister's 8 year old son, who did indeed remember who asked to smell whose beards.
"Eggs...trade...Ralts...I don't know how to get in the lake...they traded that?...NFE...Togepi..."- Kaelan, the Navy Manchild and my nephew Taylor's boyfriend, Jayden, hovering over a Nintendo 3DS for at least an hour, discussing Pokémon in the same tones as you'd discuss Tea Party politics.
"You get one whether you want one or not!"My husband's Aunt Dianne, informing her mother, my mother in law, that there will be an open house to celebrate her 90th birthday next month.
Well, my readers and other hangers on, that's all I remember. I hope you've all had blessed holidays and I hope that 2014 kicks ass instead of kicking our asses.