Monday, March 03, 2014

Defying Gravity

So, Ellen broke the Twitters and Oscar ratings were the highest in years.
 
Good!  Because I love The Oscars.  I don't get a flying duck about any other award show that famous people show up at to give each other warm and fuzzy feelings but The Oscars holds a place in my heart.
 
I say this even though it's been years since any of the films nominated were presented through the medium of interpretive dance.  Selfies aren't quite as interpretive but at least Kevin Spacey was in there.
 
So, it's my pretense and my pleasure to bestow upon Hollywood the Absent Minded Oscars Best Dressed and Worst Dressed awards.
 
This year I had an easy time of it.  My best dressed stood out from the beginning and though 97% of the attendees were dressed well, our winner for Best Supporting Actress was stunning.
 
 
 
Lupita Nyong'o chose a simple style, a daring well tailored decolletage, and a color that stood above all the neutral tones you usually see at The Oscars.  Lovely.

And the worst dressed.  This also stood out from the beginning, even though a bra-less Liza Minnelli got a chuckle, and near had me rolling on the floor.
 
 
 
Out of all the pregnant ladies attending, Elsa Pataky took her glow a wee bit too far.  It's difficult to shove a nine month pregnant body into an evening gown and I've never had to do so, but I do know that if the occasion had arose I wouldn't have gathered my sheer beaded tent under my belly and revealed all that side boob at the same time.
Special appearances of my side boobs are reserved for trips to the grocery store and make out sessions in automatic carwashes.
 
...and I am so out of milk.
 


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